One of the advantages of being single is the free pass I get on Valentine's Day. I make no secret of the fact that I have some fundamental problems with this holiday of inconvenience. I will also say that my issues could have direct correlation with my relationship status. It's true, a bachelor who hates Valentine's Day is like a one-legged man applying for a job as an ass-kicker. You aren't exactly at the the top of the list but like the one-legged man I am not changing. What you see is what you get and I hate Valentine's Day. After Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter the only holidays I want to celebrate are baseball's opening day, Father's and Mother's Day and WrestleMania. Today, I'll share with you why Valentine's Day is a flawed holiday that is only meant to make guys feel guilty and spend money.
The first flaw is that for guys it's a zero-sum game. It's a battle that no matter what you do or what you say or how you do it, you cannot succeed!! Unless of course you spend money and preferably more money than you did the year before. This notion that "It's the thought that counts" is total hogwash. If you do not deliver a clever card and flowers and chocolates and a gift and a nice dinner you my friend have failed. Especially if you did these things early on in the courtship. Mark my words, come up short on V-day and you hear about and at first it's not anger, it's this:
Girl-Ummmm are you happy in this relationship?
Guy-Uh Yeah, I'm good, life is good.Why do you ask?
Girl- Oh no reason I guess, You just don't seem as happy as you use to.
Guy-What makes you say that?
and it's at this point where most girls point out that you don't do what you used to do? That the Casanova that took her out during the infancy stage of the relationship wasn't there anymore. It's also at this point where the guy is forced in to feeling lousy and apologizing for the rest of the night.
I'd be willing to bet that for every great V-day couples have, there are just as many "state of the union" conversations and even break-ups. Now I know it seems I'm laying all of the blame at the feet of the women and for that I say no.....just most of it. Here is where guys are to blame. Guys are like football coaches who break out all their good plays in the first quarter of the first game of their career. We set an impossible standard that we just can't live up to The issue is expectation. Women like feeling special and like thinking that their guy is like John Cusack in one of those sappy rom-coms and with every year that passes, the expectation is that you will do it better than the year before. Or at the very least do it better than her friend's man does. Guys also don't do a good job of communicating with each other. I think we should be allowed to take a running start and kick every guy's testicles that proposes on Valentine's Day. These jag-offs ruin it for the rest of us. How are we suppose to compete with that? If you don't think women keep score on that stuff you're kidding yourself.
Now onto women, I don't hold this against you. You are just taking advantage of the system and using this day as the way to seize the relationship conch shell. It's also a way for you to take stock of your man and see if you have it good or if it's time to see if there is a BBD (bigger better deal) on the open market. Ladies figure that Valentine's Day is the best the guy has to offer. The problem here is that guys often times have to put on a show and most guys...suck at shows. Most guys still pulling a coin out of someone's ear is a neat trick. We are easily amused. The best time to judge a man's affection for you is every other day of the year through his words and actions.For 364 days, there is no show, no reason to impress, no reason to be something he's not. That's what you should base your relationship on. Not his actions on a Hallmark Holiday.
Bottom line, we need to get rid of this day as a holiday and spend our energy and time and money elsewhere like stock in UGG Boots or restoring Deloreans and golfing at Pebble Beach or writing barely read blogs on blogspot.com.
Curbing your enthusiasm
Tim
5 comments:
See, and the way I see it, women would prefer if they got flowers and cards and John Cusack stuff every single day of the year. "Here honey, I composed this poem just for you because it's Friday and I love you." But we realize that unless you happen to be lucky enough to snag a guy that truly loves and revels in all that romantic crap (I think there are like three guys like that in circulation right now) it's not going to happen. So guys get a free pass 364 days of the year. But Valentine's Day is the one day we put our foot down and say, "Alright schmuck, you got 364 days to be a troll, today you gotta suck it up and at least PRETEND like I am so brilliantly special that you can't help yourself but shower me with gifts and compliments." I got my obligatory roses Monday and you know what? They make my kitchen smell sweet all week.
I think you are generalizing women expectations on valentines...yes i think holidays such as valentines and christmas and such have gotten out of hand and expectiation and gifts have gotten to a point where it's become obligation instead of the joy of just giving a gift. But is it so wrong for a girl or women to want to feel special for one day. To want to know that a guy thought about them and want to express how they feel about them beyond just words. I mean maybe as women we shouldn't expect so much, but i don't think that it's so horrible to want a small gesture such as flowers or a card.
Oh I love it! Doesn't mean I agree with all of it. Definitely a generalization, as Kari puts is...but you totally cracked me up because a lot of it can be so true.
Tim, Tim, you know I'm going to disagree with your generalizations here. :) I was never big into Valentine's Day until I started dating Jeff. He really goes out of his way to make it special. He really outdid himself this year with a surprise candlelit dinner in our basement, laminated menus he had created, his sister and Charles acting as hostess and waiter...it was terribly sweet. But the best part of it all was seeing how proud he was of himself that he had surprised me and made my night. Now, we both know Jeff is not the biggest romantic, but at least 1 day a year, he goes out of his way to be, with no nagging or encouragement from me, not only for my happiness, but his own as well. And I made him Valentine's dinner Sunday night...it's not just a holiday for women. Valentine's Day is no hallmark holiday for us, it is a true celebration of what we have together. And I can't think of too many better things to have a special day and celebrate than that.
So there. :P
I agree with Mrs Maelstrom
it should be a ALL year kind of thing, on BOTH parties parts. one day to "remember" to do something nice is lame and annoying
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