I Just Want to Talk

Hello. It's been a while and lot has happened both personally and professionally. I'd love to sit and talk about that but maybe some other time. This blog isn't for mass consumption. This post isn't getting shared at least not by me. I'm writing today simply because I have things I want to say but not sure I have anybody I really want to say it to. I've talked too much in 35 years and over and over again people have listened and for that I will always be grateful. But, finding words lately has been difficult. Emotions have been mixed and thoughts have been jumbled. There were times where I couldn't talk if I wanted to.

 Yesterday was election day and for many it was the most important day in their lives. For me, it just meant three months since I lost my friend and mentor Keith Roberts. I was hoping that I would find my way back to a semblance of normalcy and sometimes I swear I'm getting there but there are still many moments where I feel rudderless. For 20 years he was always there to give me direction, to show me the way. I always knew in a moment he could make sense out of nonsense and get me back to the smoother waters. When he passed, I obviously cried but the numbness took over more often than not. I kept thinking this was some version of the "upside-down" from Stranger Things and that my phone would buzz again at 9:30pm like clockwork. The phone is silent.....It's always silent and in that silence, the most profound and harshest truth is spoken....life is short. Not only is it short but it's cruel and unfair.

I feel guilty saying that but I sometimes it's all I have. I've never felt grief in this way. People use to tell me it hurts and to be honest, I never understood that. When my grandparents passed I was sad of course but it didn't hurt. I miss them but they got to run their course right to the end. They did everything they were put here to do. It never hurt and I continued on with life. I get it now. Maybe it's the suddenness of it. Maybe it's the manor in which he passed. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't have time to prepare my emotions. Maybe it's because we had so much more to do. Whatever the reason, I get it now. It hurts.

He's still around me. I feel it. At least that's what I tell myself even though I don't always believe it. I have to keep saying it because I have to believe there is more to life than this. That you are not just here and then you are gone. I don't know.

Thanks for the time. 

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Cheers



Tim.

Time Marches On

     I was recently looking at my Twitter account and noticed my blog account in the corner. I clicked the link for no reason in particular other than I'm a narcissist and a harsh critic at the same time. I like to look at my writing and then tear it down.While processing my own self loathing, it occurred to me that my last post was over two years ago. It's pretty hard to promote a blog chronicling the details of your life when you aren't doing said chronicling.

     In two years much has changed and yet much has stayed the same. I'm still tubby, still in college, still coaching speech, still a giant fan of the Barenaked Ladies and still tremendously unlucky in the playoffs of fantasy football. Despite the sameness, a great deal has changed and will continue to change as the year goes along. I'm currently engaged. It's pretty funny reading my blogs as a single guy. It's crazy how a person can change you and for the better. Kari on a daily basis makes me think and ponder how to be a better person. She's easily the most supportive person I've ever been around. She is also quick to point out when I'm being an asshole.Before I met her I get the feeling I was an asshole a lot. So I'm doing the smart thing and marrying that girl. My hope is she will make me ponder how to be a better person every day for the rest of my days.

I'm finally graduating soon. Seven years in the making and it's finally going to happen in May. I've given so much to this degree and learned so much and put up with so much with this experience. I feel like I'm about to give birth to a 7 year 300 pound baby. A baby that will cost 50 large plus interest. It's enough to give myself 3am feedings.

My goals of starting a podcast have finally been realized with my friends Izzy and Andy. The Tim and Izzy Podcast Show has been steadily growing and after 53 episodes we are still having fun. I'm not sure how many we will do but as long it is fun and people like listening to it, I'm sure we will keep doing it. I would like to do a sports related show at some point but this is too much fun to stop doing. I encourage you to listen. I'll clip on a widget so you can listen sometime.

That's it for now. I'll try not to be a stranger this time.

Tim

The Art of the Pep Talk

I've always wanted to be a coach. When I was younger playing baseball and basketball, my coaches would often call me a "coach on the field". They were referring to how I would always be talking and encouraging the guys. When I would go to the bench I would always sit by the coaches. Some of the kids thought I was being the classic brown-noser but in all honesty I did it because I was always fascinated by the different strategies and different tactics coaches would use. It became clear though by the 8th grade that my future in sports was going to be as a coach. The injuries had mounted up to the point where I just couldn't go anymore athletically. My brain was still in coaching mode. I joined speech because I wanted a place where I could funny and compete and not get injured. I also liked the idea of having a coach.

Coach Roberts was different from my sports coaches but just as effective if not more. Most of my sports coaches were great X's and O's guys and could tell you where to stand and what to do and how to do it but the often didn't have the ability to give you the pep talk. The Vince Lombardi type pre-game speech that warmed your blood and made you think you were unstoppable. While not as demonstrative as Lombardi, Coach knew how to light a fire under me. You wouldn't think that would be important in something like speech but I'll tell you that speech is no different than sports when it comes to the competitive element. It takes energy and commitment and often times your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. While Coach always was quick to help me when things weren't working in my delivery or in my writing, he was even quicker to tell me when I was good. Often times our practice sessions were him and I joking and going back in forth and it worked. Never was I more successful then the times I worked for Coach Roberts.

After high school, I realized my dream of coaching when I started coaching house basketball. We weren't the most talented team but those kids played hard for me as I incorporated all of the coaching tactics I had learned in my life. None more important than my pre-game pep talk. The players seemed to respond to my energy and my passion and we achieved some success. Then something happened....I stopped pep-talking and started yelling. My next bunch of years we had even less talent and instead of teaching and coaching I was shouting at everyone in sight. Referees,players, parents, fans, assistant coaches you name it. I forgot what I leaned from Coach Roberts. I forgot what it meant to give the pep talk. So I stopped coaching basketball. I stopped coaching...period.

In 2005, I was offered a chance to coach speech. I took it. Not knowing if I would be good or not and early on I wasn't.. but it felt right. It felt good to coach again. I got back to basics. Setting principles and giving kids the freedom to be themselves while utilizing the pep talk as my primary coaching tool and it worked. The kids bought in and we started having success. I've been there ever since and as my seventh season draws to a close I finally truly realize what it means to be a coach. It's the little moments that are the lasting ones. This weekend one of my seniors came to me after her final regular season speech round with this huge smile on her face. I asked her how it went and she said "It went Great". She was ecstatic about her performance and about the fact that she made the final at every tournament we entered this year. No small feat in speech. It was her smile, her energy and her excitement that at that moment was priceless for me.

One last story, When I was a senior I was lucky enough to win the state championship in speech in my category. I remember running to Coach and hugging him and saying to him that "We Did It,We Did It." he stopped me quickly and said "No, YOU did it." He never wanted the credit for what we did and still doesn't to this day. I never understood why until last year when my top creative made the state final. His first words to me was "We Did It". I stopped for a second and at that moment I understood why Coach deferred the credit. You don't coach for trophies, you coach.....for the pep talk.


Back from a Break

Tim

Even Dreams Can Cost Money.

Louie Anderson once asked in one of his early stand-up routines: "What are we gonna tell our kids?" This question was prompted by one of those classic parent stories about how they had walk up hill both ways in the snow to school. His answer was "I didn't get cable til I was 12." Louie proved to be a prophet in my case. I was actually 16 when the cable truck pulled up in his 12 to 6 time window and hooked us up. I remember the first thing I did was watch Sportscenter and then it was baseball and that night it was pro wrestling and for the first time I got to see what I had been missing out on. I loved cable and for the longest time I looked at like the realization of a dream. It showed that all the hard work and suffering my parents did to get somewhere in their careers and lives and started to pay off.  We no longer were the poor white family at the end of the block....We had cable. Turns out I had it wrong. I manifested my dreams of becoming somebody with offers of "Free HBO" and old boxing matches on ESPN Classic. I forgot what it was to really dream. To really use my imagination and create something in my mind.

For example, I am a baseball fan. It was the first sport I ever took to. I remember it was cousin's favorite sport and at the time I thought he was just the coolest guy in the world. I wanted to be just like him so I took up baseball and spent hours listening to games and watching the Twins whenever they were on TV . There was always an over the air game on during the week. I planned my weeks around those games and often found myself watching the game on this small black and white TV which wasn't much but it got great reception. I'd watch the game and then go outside and throw a tennis ball against the side of my house and think I was pitching in that game. I would just throw and throw and picture staring down Ken Griffey Jr. and recall how he beat my Twins the night before on a bad belt high slider. It's funny to me now and even somewhat silly but Griffey for as great as he was, couldn't touch my 60 mph fastball.....not in my backyard he couldn't. It never stopped there for me. I'd watch basketball and create makeshift hoops in my basement watch pro wrestling for 3 hours on late Saturday nights and dream about how I could be more like Jake "The Snake" Roberts.In hindsight not having cable was the best thing for me as a kid. It allowed my brain to function is ways I never would have otherwise. It allowed me to think big and keep my mind open to all possibilities. It's a skill that has served me well in life and I owe it all to being poor.

However I feel sad for the kids today because that is just not an option anymore. The drive for dollars and revenue has taken away a muse for kids to dream. No more late night T-Wolves games on regular TV, No Pro-wrestling unless it's a documentary about how screwed up wrestling is. Jake "The Snake" is an old drunk and just recently the Twins announced that they will not carry games over the air anymore. The only way you can see the Twins is on cable. At first I thought nothing of it. I have cable so that's no problem but I then I thought about being 7 years old and throwing the ball against my house and planning my week around my one chance to watch Puckett and Hrbek and Gladden and now it's gone. Those days are over and I feel a little less innocent and a little more hardened. The race for revenue has taken the fun out of everything. I call it a "dream tax". People ask what's wrong with the kids today? The answer is nothing. The kids haven't changed. Kids still are born the same way and it's still our job to give them the outlets necessary to fill those brains with creative ideas and hopes and dreams. Problem is we have put the child proof blocks on the outlets. In fact, we have child-proofed the world, stuffing bad cartoons down their throats and forcing all their potential heroes to basic cable time slots. I wish we could change this pattern but we can't. The bell has already been rung and once we start on the road to progress, we can't just hang a U-turn and head back. We can only stop and take in what we have and remember the way it use to be and admire it's simplicity,it's innocence and it's integrity...yes integrity even in the case of Jake "The Snake". All I know is dreams are the fuel of life and there isn't a filling station in sight.

Shaking my Head at the Screen and My Fist at the Snow,


Tim

Valentine's Massacre

One of the advantages of being single is the free pass I get on Valentine's Day. I make no secret of the fact that I have some fundamental problems with this holiday of inconvenience. I will also say that my issues could have direct correlation with my relationship status. It's true, a bachelor who hates Valentine's Day is like a one-legged man applying for a job as an ass-kicker. You aren't exactly at the the top of the list but like the one-legged man I am not changing. What you see is what you get and I hate Valentine's Day. After Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter the only holidays I want to celebrate are baseball's opening day, Father's and Mother's Day and WrestleMania. Today, I'll share with you why Valentine's Day is a flawed holiday that is only meant to make guys feel guilty and spend money.

The first flaw is that for guys it's a zero-sum game. It's a battle that no matter what you do or what you say or how you do it, you cannot succeed!! Unless of course you spend money and preferably more money than you did the year before. This notion that "It's the thought that counts" is total hogwash. If you do not deliver a clever card and flowers and chocolates and a gift and a nice dinner you my friend have failed. Especially if you did these things early on in the courtship. Mark my words, come up short on V-day and you hear about and at first it's not anger, it's this:
Girl-Ummmm are you happy in this relationship?
Guy-Uh Yeah, I'm good, life is good.Why do you ask?
Girl- Oh no reason I guess, You just don't seem as happy as you use to.
Guy-What makes you say that?
and it's at this point where most girls point out that you don't do what you used to do? That the Casanova that took her out during the infancy stage of the relationship wasn't there anymore. It's also at this point where the guy is forced in to feeling lousy and apologizing for the rest of the night.

I'd be willing to bet that for every great V-day couples have, there are just as many "state of the union" conversations and even break-ups. Now I know it seems I'm laying all of the blame at the feet of the women and for that I say no.....just most of it. Here is where guys are to blame. Guys are like football coaches who break out all their good plays in the first quarter of the first game of their career. We set an impossible standard that we just can't live up to  The issue is expectation. Women like feeling special and like thinking that their guy is like John Cusack in one of those sappy rom-coms and with every year that passes, the expectation is that you will do it better than the year before. Or at the very least do it better than her friend's man does. Guys also don't do a good job of communicating with each other. I think we should be allowed to take a running start and kick every guy's testicles that proposes on Valentine's Day. These jag-offs ruin it for the rest of us. How are we suppose to compete with that? If you don't think women keep score on that stuff you're kidding yourself.

Now onto women, I don't hold this against you. You are just taking advantage of the system and using this day as the way to seize the relationship conch shell. It's also a way for you to take stock of your man and see if you have it good or if it's time to see if there is a BBD (bigger better deal) on the open market. Ladies figure that Valentine's Day is the best the guy has to offer. The problem here is that guys often times have to put on a show and most guys...suck at shows. Most guys still pulling a coin out of someone's ear is a neat trick. We are easily amused. The best time to judge a man's affection for you is every other day of the year through his words and actions.For 364 days, there is no show, no reason to impress, no reason to be something he's not. That's what you should base your relationship on. Not his actions on a Hallmark Holiday.

Bottom line, we need to get rid of this day as a holiday and spend our energy and time and money elsewhere like stock in UGG Boots or restoring Deloreans and golfing at Pebble Beach or writing barely read blogs on blogspot.com.

Curbing your enthusiasm
Tim

You Take The Plunger and I'll Take The Febreeze:

The "THIS STINKS" edition of The Chili                                                            

I borrowed the title of this weeks Chili Quick Takes blog from a line from one of my speechies creative pieces this week because when she said it in practice today it encapsulated everything I was feeling regarding the last couple of days in sports. Before my therapy session begins I do want to say congratulations to my speechies for a great job this past weekend. I also want to send a shout to my friend Izzy for his Fringe show selection. Continued success to you all and now to the couch I go....and I will try to this chronologically

Carter Snubbed Again
Someone is really going to have explain this one to me because I am at a loss. How does Cris Carter get snubbed for the Football Hall of Fame yet again. I realize that there are some good guys on the list and I don't mean to take away from Marshall Faulk and Shannon Sharpe but damnit anyway. We are talking about one of the 5 or 6 greatest receivers of all time. Perhaps the greatest possession receiver of all time. Maybe the best hands of any wide receiver in his era including Jerry Rice. Carter single-handedly (no-pun intended) re-defined the role of the slot receiver in today's NFL and he did all of this without the luxury of a consistently great quarterback. I swear if they pass on this guy one more time I vote we just board the place up because this is a joke!!

Christina, Use your words!
I missed thist but it has come to my attention that Christina Aguilera forgot a piece to the Star Spangled Banner last night at the Super Bowl. I hate this for 2 reasons. One, I think this should be mandatory teaching in schools, there is no way people shouldn't know these words by heart. You should be able to sing this cold. It's not like trying to memorize "It's the End of the World" by REM or anything.The fact that you have had months to prepare for this and you still forgot the words in just inexcusable. Two, I like Christina. In fact, I talked her up big before the game and even went as far as to say this could be on Whitney Houston levelhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wupsPg5H6aE&feature=related . I guess not.

RIP Pro Wrestling.
When I saw this video I pretty much just sat in stunned silence for like 5 minutes as steam and brain cells escaped from my ears. A little piece of me died inside. Observe:  It's like they aren't even trying anymore . Sad Day!

Super Bowl Abyss
One of dear young speechies waited all of 10 minutes following the Packers win over the Steelers to call me up and laugh in my face. As a Vikings fan I've eaten my fair share of Crow but it tastes just that much worse when it's served cold to you by a Packers Fan. Especially a young Packers fan who has known of no strife or trouble. Who has gone from Favre to Rogers without too much struggle along the way. I'm not mad as much as I am just jealous. It sucks that it's not us in that game. It sucks that it's not us with the franchise quarterback. It sucks that we will be the basement for the next 4 years in the NFC North.

There....Now I feel better. Hey we are a week away from Pitchers and Catchers and about 6 weeks from Golf Season. You see already feeling better

Plunging the Clogged Toilet

Tim

Why Acting?

Me-Many Moons Ago ( Thanks to Peter Lerohl and ARCC Theatre)

                                                           
Last Sunday I auditioned for my sixth show at my church. My hope is to get in and start preparing for "Brigadoon" which will go up at the end of April. It's one weekend. We will rehearse two and half months for one weekend. We will create structures, built strong enough to stand up to anything and then around 5pm that Sunday we will tear it down and put it all away and do it again next year. It's a lot of work and at times it can feel a bit overwhelming but the payoff always seems to be worth it and it's that payoff that keeps me coming back year in and year out. Still, I have a lot of people who ask me why? Why do I continue to put myself through shows? It's not like the pay is good. It's not like I don't have other things I could be doing. That's true. I don't get paid and yes I do have other things that I could be doing like working on my golf game, school work, speech work and giving some time to my long neglected friends who have been more than patient with me as they deal with this heavily programmed life I'm living.

I guess I do it for a few reasons. First would be the people. Every cast is different. Every show takes on a life of it's own. I've been blessed to play lead roles and I've also sat in the chorus and I can say this absolutely that a show cannot go without every ones full commitment and energy. In a play, the whole must always be greater than the sum of the parts. When everyone is sold out to the vision of the director it can be a beautiful thing and poetry in motion. People come from all walks of life at my church. Different ages, school schedules,experience levels and backgrounds and we all have to work together to make it happen. I've worked with so many talented people. Many of whom have gone on to do some great things. I have learned something from all of them and have taken with me the little tricks and techniques that made them fun to work with. I also have worked for some great directors in recent years. Each of them has their own style, their own vision and skill set but effective none the less. Each of them has provided me the ability to create. The freedom to do my own thing and the authority to offer a check and balance to my sometimes lofty goals and crazy ideas.

I think the other reason I keep coming back is the rush. This feeling that is hard to describe and even harder to duplicate. All I know is this, I wake up every morning feeling lousy and full of knee pain among other things. I spend my day thinking about all the stresses that surround my day. All of that goes away on stage. For two and half hours I feel nothing and there isn't a drug on the planet that can duplicate that...at least not one that won't get in the Busted Magazine. I always heard athletes growing up talking about how they fed off the crowd for support and motivation. I never felt that way playing little league or slow pitch softball where the smattering of golf claps hardly registered a decibel. In fact, I can't recall a time where I remember a crowd and a team I was on being connected together. However, I can recall a dozen times when I could feel on stage the audience hanging on every line being said and every note being sung. People like theatre because they get live through you for a couple hours just like you are living through whatever character is in the script and it's that marriage that keeps us all coming back.

So here we go again. Another show. Another character. Another opportunity to entertain someone.I believe everyone needs to try it at one point in their life. I think it's like Gene Hackman says in "Hoosiers" that "Most people would kill to be treated like a god....even for just a few moments." Well I may not be treated like a god but for one weekend a year I rule the world.

Til Act 2
Tim

Chili Quick Takes

I want to start off this week by thanking the readers over the last month for giving my blog a look. I hope you found something that you liked and will continue to read and comment as well as continue to let others know about it and show them the way to The Chili. Now on to this weeks Quick Take Blog

Olbermann Out.      
I must say I wasn't totally surprised by this move when it came down last Friday that Keith Olbermann would no longer host his show on MSNBC. The word on the street was that he was having his issues with management. No big surprise since he has had issues at MSNBC before. In 1999 ,He left his show then. Also no surprise considering his relationship with ESPN when he left was considered to be on the sour side as well. I'm a fan of Olbermann not just because I'm a democrat, it actually goes back further to his days at ESPN. I always appreciated Olbermann's delivery. The way he went about reading the stories. I truly believed that when he talked about sports that he was a fan above all else. The fact that he also was a democrat was just a bonus. Say what you want about Keith and most people do, you have to at least acknowledge his oratory skills. There are not many guys in the media who have the ability to write and speak and be funny and be introspective and interesting all at the same time. He has re-invented himself before and I expect he will do it again somewhere down the line and I'll be ready when he does. You have to admit, ESPN sucks and has sucked without Olbermann and Dan Patrick doing Sportcenter.Again, less Stuart Scott please!!

Cutler = Persona Non Grata    
It was amazing to hear the vitriol spewed toward the direction of Bears QB Jay Cutler in the wake of last Sunday's loss in the NFC Championship game. I do understand the Bears' fans plight. It sucks to watch the Packers go to the Super Bowl. I get it but don't put all the blame on Jay Cutler because he got hurt, blame the coaches, blame the O-line and blame the team for just not getting it done. This notion that Jay Cutler quit in this game I just find laughable. This is the same Jay Cutler who was under siege for the better part of the season working with an old patch work offensive line.Not to mention some pretty average receivers who weren't always the easiest guys to throw to. This is also the same player who took a 9 sack beating at the hands of the Giants and still kept battling until a concussion finally forced him out and was also getting the snot beat out of him for much of the first half of this title game. He spent more time looking up at the Chicago skyline then he did Bears receivers and after all of that you're saying he quit??? Based on what? His body language? You're going to have to do better than that. The body language argument is just plain silly in this case because his body language hasn't been any different all season. He always looks disengaged and aloof so I am not sure what you can glean from this particular version of disengagement. The body language thing works when talking about Favre this season. It was clear that his body language was noticeably different than it was the year before and year before that but like I said that's not Cutler. People just hate Cutler for some reason and will grasp at whatever straws they can to further the argument that he is not a franchise QB. I can think of at least one team that should wanna have a guy like Cutler over what they got currently. Any ideas??


More next week, until then...
Tim

Wintertime Blues

                                                                           
I'll come right out and say it. I'm not a fan of winter. I'll go a step further and say that I hate it. I can't stand it. I hate every part of winter. The snow, the cold weather, the wind chills, the short days, the lack of sunlight and I could go on and on. People ask me "why do you live here if you hate 4 months out of 12" I say because I love the other 8 and because no situation can be 100% perfect. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. I love the Minnesota golf and theatre scene. I also love the fact that this a consistent stop on any Barenaked Ladies tour. I also love the fact that people are genuinely nice. Winter however, well that's a different story.

This winter has been especially challenging to me. All the years of bad knees and bad dieting and single living have finally caught up with me. I find myself staying up late and waking up tired with my knee pain often beating the alarm clock to wake me up in the morning. Some people hop out of bed. I meander out of bed. It's more of a fall or slither. I even on occasion do this serpentine motion where I move to right out of the covers and then to left for a stretch and then back to the right for some reason and then back to the left to complete the symmetry. I then get ready to walk outside and it's cold and biting or its snowing and wet and you're battling a cold for three months solid. I often work outside and just my luck this winter I have worked outside through every major snownami and after this week of sub-zero temperatures I am ready officially to declare this winter over and move on to spring. The funny thing is that it never used to be this way.

 Some of my fondest childhood memories have occurred in the snow. I started thinking about it this week while talking to my speechies.They are scheduling this night of sledding and hanging out. I remembered that I used to love sledding. When we moved in to the house where I grew up one of the perks was this big hill that bottomed out at this gully right behind our house. It was perfect and it was ours and every year I couldn't wait for the snow to fall so we could go out and sled all day and build ice jumps. I still don't know why we did that because we always built it too high and I always fell out of the sled and would go ass over tea kettle into the snow. I also liked to shovel snow which is my least favorite thing to do now. The day after the 1991 Halloween Blizzard I went out the next day and shoveled driveways and made 50 bucks which turned into my WWF action ring and my Jake "The Snake" Roberts action figure. I also looked forward to winter because it meant basketball season and school snow days and during recess it seemed we got extra time to hang out and play football or soccer. The world just seemed better as a kid in the winter time. A few years back I said I am going to go sledding and I did. I went to the famed Knox Hill in Coon Rapids. Famed only to people in Coon Rapids. I went and climbed the hill and the hill seemed like K2 to me now. It took forever to climb. I took off at the speed of light and hit the jump and fell ass over tea kettle just like the old times except this time I just laid there.

I spent like 2 minutes gathering my thoughts when I heard this kid saying "Hey dude!!!... Your blocking the jump." I got back up and started my Everest-like climb back to the top of the hill. I made my way back down 1 more time before I turned in my sled for the last time. I then spent the next 2 days swallowing humble pie and Extra Strength Tylenol and accepting the fact that I wasn't as good as I once was. I wasn't even as good once as I ever was! My relationship with winter was sealed forever at that point I think. It was like when you're in a relationship when you both mutually realize that you don't love each other anymore. Whatever that spark was that drew you together has gone the way of the dodo bird... but your comfortable and the unknown scares you more than the known so you stay and deal with each other.

I think that's why I'll never leave this place and I'll keep dealing with winter.Maybe one day our relationship can turn back around. Maybe one day I can take the old sled out of mothballs and take one more crack at Knox Hill and show the world that the old guys in the village can still stand on top of the hill and be accounted for.Until then....


Thawing out
Tim

Sports Chili- The Freezing My Ass Off Edition

This picture pretty much sums up my feelings towards this winter and this current blast of arctic air. I'm surprised people haven't started trying to kill one another with frozen bass. This is exactly why I don't ice fish in the first place. Anyway time for sports!!

I couldn't have been more wrong on the New England Patriots last week. I realized that I didn't put enough thought into those games and settled for 2-2 on the weekend but it is championship week in the NFL and here comes the picks.

New York vs. Pittsburgh (-3.5)
I have to give it to the Jets. They played a great game. They had an amazing game plan and they stuck to it. It forced Brady to do things he didn't want to do. It's a tempting line for all the betters to take the Jets and the points this week against Pittsburgh. You aren't crazy if you like the Jets. I mean, in consecutive weeks they have beaten two of the 10 best quarterbacks in NFL history combine that with the fact that the Steelers O-line is in shambles and just played a grueling game against the leagues most physical team (Ravens). With all of this information in hand....I'm taking Pittsburgh. It's my belief that the Jets shot their wad last week against New England. I think it's going to be hard for them to find the extra gear to take down the Steelers and How many times can you remember Big Ben coming up short in a big spot....I mean except all those girls he tries to fondle while drunk. I can't bet against the Steelers. Pitt wins and covers 23-17

Green Bay(3.5) vs Chicago
I was rapping today with my friend Brian about the last time a team was a home dog in a championship game. We think it was when the Giants played the Vikings in 2000. I think we all know how that turned out. This won't be 41-0 like that game but I am going to take the Bears in a high scoring battle and I say this for a couple of reasons. 1) I hate the Packers and the idea that my Packer Backer friends could hold another Super Bowl appearance over me is just unthinkable.2) Special teams often decide games like this and I'll take Devin Hester if that's the case and finally I want Mike Tice (Bears O-line coach) and former Vikings coach to have a shot at the ring just so he can stick it to all of the dumb Vikings fans who wanted Brad Childress instead. I also hope he passes by the Wilf's house with his ring dangling out the window of his Escalade or whatever the hell he's driven these days. Bears win 24-23

Oh one more thing. I'm sick and tired of these athletes at the end of games going with the  old "Nobody Believes in us!" "All you haters". This idea that your motivated by what Jag-offs like the guys at ESPN say is just pathetic. Example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuMy1EG2StM

Here is the thing Bart Scott, If you didn't get your teeth kicked down your throat by 40 on national television 6 weeks ago, maybe someone would have believed in you. Here is the other thing, talk about how winning is what motivated you or how you get paid to win or how it's your goal to get to the bowl instead of using the tired cliche' that nobody believed in us and we wanted to show the world what we were all about. Oh Happy day that you showed that to us. Oh how our mundane lives have been enriched and we promise to never doubt you again. Seriously guys, get over yourselves and let's see you run your flaps like that this week against Pittsburgh.

Ok Folks, That's it for me. See ya next week.
Stay Warm and Don't Fumble
Tim

Maybe we aren't done as a society.......yet!

I've been sitting here thinking about how I could talk about the events in Tucson without sounding like some sort of blowhard or crazy. It's something that I have strong feelings about and as much as I'd like to sit here and do a little four score and seven years ago about Sarah Palin and Sharron Angle further dividing the culture with their hateful speech and insidious rhetoric forcing people to feel like they have to defend themselves and their beliefs, I can't. Not because I physically can't because it's my blog and I'll say what I want. I just conscientiously cannot.

Even up until last night I was willing to shred the world and further add to the division but I instead would rather light a candle then curse our darkness. I instead will use this blog to be the rising tide that lifts all boats. It's not because I'm a bleeding heart liberal like my friends on the right would like to say.Instead it's because something has happened to make me feel different about this even if its just for a day. Being the idiot that I am, I lost my wallet in the middle of downtown Minneapolis last night. I didn't know it was gone for an hour or so and by the time I retraced my steps it was gone. History, Finito,Goodbye Charlie. Losing your wallet is the easily the shittiest feeling in the world. Your life is lost in the ether somewhere. Somewhere in the universe, somebody was enjoying my driver's license and bank card and Kwik Trip punch card and laughing at my driver's license photo which shows an overweight man with no neck.

I went home crestfallen and angry at myself. I wanted to just crawl in a hole somewhere and I did. In bed by 1am which was a new record for me when all of sudden at 7am my phone rang and it may have been the sweetest voice outside my friend Howse's voice saying to me "Tim Anderson please......" My groggy response"Yeah". This is Mesha and I found your wallet and since I work at your bank I was able to get your number." I did that thing that Jeff Bridges does in Lebowski after getting his car back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iApz08Bh53w

I felt like my confidence in my fellow man to the right thing had been restored and for a moment I thought I don't care who she is or how old she is or if she looks like "Precious" or not, I should marry her!!! I thought better considering it probably wouldn't be worth it to her. Might make her never wanna do a good deed for someone ever again. So The wallet is back with me and I'll call it serendipity!

Now What does this have to do with Tuscon? Nothing really except that the ability to do good and help others still manifests itself in our divided society. If we are ever gonna get back on track in the civility department, we need to take a page out of my new friend Mesha's book and just do something because it's the right thing to do. She wanted nothing from me, Saying my thanks was enough and I went on my way. It's like the great philosopher Red Green says "Remember I'm pulling for you and we're all in this together." Preach on

Keep your stick on the ice
 
Tim

Thoughts on NFL, BCS and more

Playoffs!!! Don't talk about Playoffs!!
See, I bet you were assuming I'd open by talking about the NFL or as like to call it, the only game of football that matters but instead I'll open with my thoughts on the BCS and College Football in general. So Auburn is the apparent "National Champion" for this season in college football. Great!! I'm sure it was a real struggle through that grueling tournam.........Oh but it was apparent they were the best when they beat TCu...... Yeah.....seems none of that happened. Yeah, unfortunately the two teams were picked by a group of computers almost 40 days in advance of the game while the hype machine at ESPN exploited their images for millions of dollars.

It doesn't make sense, How can you be considered legitimate when you have 130 some odd teams in Division 1 college football when only the big major conferences are up for consideration for the title. TCU and Boise St. could have played 100 games and won them all by 50 and never would have been given a chance to play for the title.The Fact is unless you come from the money conferences like the SEC and Big 10 or thr Pac-10 you have no shot to play for the title. Instead. we have some lovely parting gifts for you backstage furnished by Rice-a-Roni and Cuisinart. Also, you can get an all expenses paid trip to Mobile,Alabama for the "Beef O'Brady's Bowl" The NCAA claims they have the students best interest in mind. Ok. If that's the case, How much of the 10's of millions of dollars in revenue generated in these games goes towards the athletes and school facilities. How come these bowl games have CEO's with six figure salaries?Bottom line, I'm bored with it, I didn't watch one second of this game and I'm glad, glad you hear. Get a playoff and then get back to me.

Playoffs!!! for real this time.
Ok time to talk real football. Here is the breakdown
Seattle at Chicago (-10)
If someone said to me at the beginning of the season that the Bears were going to host a playoff game and be giving 10 points to their opponent, I would have laughed that person out of the building with my patented BAHAHAHAHA.I was wrong. The Bears were tough this season and took care of this division in surprisingly easy fashion. There is a concern because Seattle already went on the road and beat Chicago once this season. It stands to reason they can do it again. For that I say they cover the 10 points but will lose the game in a tight one 24-21. Bears win.

Green Bay at Atlanta (-2.5)
Practically a pick 'em with a slight edge to the Falcons according to Vegas. It has been trendy to take Green Bay in this game and I too on my friends blog thought Green Bay but I am going to amend my initial gut pick and take Atlanta to win this game. Two reason why, one, Matt Ryan has only lost twice at the Georgia dome including quality wins this season over Green Bay and Baltimore. Ryan is a cool customer and taking nothing away from Aaron Rodgers, Atlanta is just better. Two. Mark Schlereth took Green Bay on ESPN, I think that guy is an idiot and refuse to agree with him on anything. If he told me the sun set in the west, I would believe it sets in the east. 31-24 Falcons

New York at New England (-9)
Back in February this year I took the jets as the team to come out of the AFC for this season. I said because I wasn't sure what New England had in the tank. I was wrong on new England. The jettison of Randy Moss and emergence of Danny Woodhead and a couple of rookie tight ends and the return of Belichick "the mad genius". Rex Ryan has been talking a good game and the rest of the Jets have been brash and loud. Sounds great but the loudest guy in the room is often the most worried guy in the room. Give me new England to cover the 9 points in what might be the most lopsided game of the round. 35-14 Pats.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-3)
What a slobberknocker this is going to be. A defensive struggle between two teams that truly don't like each other. I look at history here. The Ravens and Steelers always play close, always play in a low scoring game and if it's the playoffs the Steelers always win. Give me Big Ben and Mike Tomlin and the points . 17-10 Pitt.

Enjoy the games. The long blog is coming soon. Enjoy today

Some Random Takes...

In addition to the regular blog every week, I'm also going to provide a blog of some quick takes on sports and movies I've seen and observations in general of the things I see around me.

Blyleven is in
I say good for Bert. Baseball for years has made their hall of fame about statistics. They talk about benchmarks like 3000 hits and 500 home runs and 300 wins. If it's about statistics, it's pretty hard to ignore the numbers. 242 complete games, 5th on the all-time strikeout list, a no-hitter, and 2 world championships. Impressive to say the least but I'm still rubbed the wrong way about the manner Blyleven has gone about this. I have a problem with people who openly campaign for an award or an honor. An honor is something that is granted to you, bestowed upon you and it shouldn't be something you have to lobby for. Bert's squeaky wheel has finally gotten the grease and again I say he deserves it but next time maybe some humility. If you wanna keep campaigning maybe shine a light towards Jack Morris.

The Kings Speech & The Fighter
I have seen some amazing films this year. I have stood firm all year that "Inception" and "Toy Story 3" were in a fight for Best Film of the year. I've been forced to amend my statement. First, I saw "The Fighter". A powerful true story based on "Irish" Micky Ward and his brother Dicky. The movie is a gritty depiction of their once strained relationship in the early parts of Ward's boxing career. While Mark Wahlberg is his traditional, likable self, he is carried by his supporting cast. Christian Bale as his brother and Amy Adams as his girlfriend. Both should and probably will receive Oscar nominations and should have a good chance to win. I then saw "The Kings Speech". The profoundly interesting story of King George VI and his fight to cure his speech impediment with the help from a commoner speech therapist. Impeccably acted from top to bottom with tour de force performances by Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush.  It's an acting clinic from beginning to end and it makes you laugh while offering you insightful characters to study. It could be the best film I have seen in years.

Vikings Dead.
And not a moment too soon. Is it me or did this season take an ice age to complete. They say smoking takes 3 minutes off your life every time you burn a heater. Well if that's the case this season was liking smoking a carton of Parliaments! I swear to you that I have lost years from my life the past few seasons with this team. They were like that girlfriend in high school that was just a drama machine and wanted to argue about everything and turn everything into a production that eventually you are just driven to the point where you holler at her and swear your going to break it off and move on but you can't because she starts crying and whaling about how she will change and be better and you cave because you're a pansy ass and can't bear to be the douchebag ex that she talks about to her friends for the remainder of time. There. Now I feel better.

More quick takes next week along with some bold playoff predictions.

A New Year, A New Chili

A lot of folks around this time of the year like to sit around and take stock of themselves. This period of self-improvement or self-loathing depending on how you look at it is meant to bring forth some sort of meaningful change. For most people the new year provides us with the motivation needed to quit smoking or lose weight or give up watching MTV. I'm no different. I too have set some modest goals for myself moving forward in 2011 and that's the subject of "The Chili" today.

First off, about the blog itself, I could have renamed "The Chili" to "The Broth" last year. I didn't devote the time and attention to it that I wanted to. Six entries is no way to do things and for that I am sorry. Folks have been asking when I would start blogging again and up until about Christmas I wasn't sure I would do it again. I told myself that the only way I would do it is if I made a commitment to it. Call it my third job. Expect me to give you two installments a week. One will be a more central themed blog and one will have a bunch of random quick takes. I'm hoping it will keep my creative juices flowing and keep you entertained.

Another resolution is that I will finally after years of procrastination and neglect on my part address my weight problem. I did a stand-up set a few weeks back and someone was nice enough to record it for me and my plan was to post it on my facebook and stuff but I couldn't bare to watch it. I was embarrassed to look at myself. I looked like Chris Farley and not the happy-go-lucky "Tommy Boy" type but rather the near death, get me a 8-ball and ham sandwich Chris Farley. It was sobering to say the least. You just never think you are that big, you look around and you say things like "ahhh that dude is bigger than me, Good thing I'm not that guy" but upon furthur review I AM that guy and it's sad and it's going to change this year. I have made the life and death committment to do like friend Jeff would say and "Get it Fixed".

The key to making it all work is to not try and change a hundred things all at once. Odds are you'll do everything half-assed and give up by March. Better yet, just take two things you want to see different and bust your ass to get those things accomplished. Nothing beats a resolution made.......except a resolution realized.

Back from an extended absence.

Good to be back on the blogosphere after an extended hiatus which saw me get older, smarter and dumber at the same time. Learned a lot about living and dying and found that my passion for sports has limits but my passion for golf knows of none. I've learned that my passion for theatre has limits but my passion for performance knows of none. I don't know, everything really does seem so trivial now. My last blog was talking about basketball and now it seems trite and unimportant. Of course it was about the Wolves so maybe that explains it..

Now calm down, I know some are worried that my love for sports has wained over the years and that I don't follow it close enough to have opinions. Not true, I still follow as much as I did when I was 10 maybe more. Problem is I'm more cynical, more jaded perhaps even a little bamboozled. I feel like I've been played as a fan to a certain extent. Maybe it's Favre related or PED's related or Lebron or worse.... slow pitch softball leagues I don't know. Maybe that's another blog for another day. Point is I love sports still and will still blog about them a ton but I've found other things that have peaked my curiosity such as faith and mortality and movies that say stuff and politics and the pursuit of life's purpose whatever that maybe.

I just turned 29. This was scaring me most of the summer because I have an unhealthy relationship with getting older. Not growing up but just getting older. I'm not worried or upset that I'm not married or I don't have any kids or anything like that. It really is just the fact that I'm older and over the last year I've become all to aware of the fragility of life and just how quickly things change. When I was younger I always believed I was Superman. Even when I would get hurt I knew I'd bounce back. I guess you just think your invincible and that you and your friends and your colleagues and co-workers and actors would just stay in the time capsule and live forever. The weather is always nice in Metropolis just not always in Minneapolis. So I anguished all summer lamenting my birthday and lamenting what seemed to be the end of my prime. My formative years by the wayside. What was to await me was an onset of morning knee pain and small talk which would most likely consist of what the weather was like and what I had for breakfast last tuesday. Complaining about shitty things like .The service at the dollar store and why there are no good 7 day movie rental places like there were in my day!

I probably coulda bummed out a retirement home. Ponzi scheme victims might have still found a way to cut me a check from whatever was left of their ruins. Then it happened. August 20th hit and the world didn't stop. I didn't just grow gray hairs I found that I was just as alive as I was the day before. Maybe dare I say more alive. The happy birthdays came pouring in and all I could think of for the first time in a few months was "this life.....pretty cool" and pretty lucky. Before I went to bed my heart poured for People like Super Kyle and Tim Gage and Lynne Saba all people who I had genuine love and respect for who passed on since my 28th birthday. It would disrespectful to these awesome people if I continued to lament getting older.Or if I pissed and moaned about  knee pains and bad golf swings and long school days and Brett Favre.

So indeed it's a new day at The Chili. No longer worried about my youth fading and embracing what truly should be my prime with the hope that I'm being guided by higher forces. Forces who are smarter and funnier and more sports savvy then I'll ever claim to be.

Maybe I'm Missing Something

I'm a big NBA guy as some folks know. All this season I've heard that the Suns are shopping Amare Stoudamire and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. It's not every day that a young physical monster who can get you 20 points a game with range all over the floor becomes available. It just makes no sense for the Suns to do this. They lack size as it is and the one true size you have you're shopping. That being said I believe that if someone wants to dance, they should have a dance partner. This is where my favorite NBA franchise enters the picture.

The Minnesota Timberwolves are the perfect suitor for a trade for Amare. The Wolves are way under the cap with money coming off the books this off season and lets be honest, Lebron, Wade, Bosh and the like are not signing this off season with Minnesota so that's why you make a trade for Amare right now and make a splash. Here is my trade idea. Amare to the Wolves for the expiring contracts of Mark Blount and Brian Cardinal. For the Suns you move Amare and free up 16 million dollars off the books for the off season. It's clear your not in the mix for the championship so why not give yourself some off season leverage in pursuit of one of the big free agents.

For the Wolves it's a great trade because you sell hope to the fan base. You acquire a young player who get's 20 points a game. He can slide right into the front court with Al Jefferson and Kevin Love. This would give you one of the best young teams in the NBA for next season with Flynn and an improving Corey Brewer  in the backcourt. Not to mention you have another high draft pick coming in the draft this season. Why not do this if you are David Kahn and the Wolves? Worst case scenario, Amare pouts and sucks. His money comes off at the end of the 2011 season so it's not like your on the hook here. It reminds me a lot of the Kings in 1999 when they acquired Chris Webber and paired him with a young and growing team. At first Webber wasn't feeling it and vowed to leave when his contract was up and ended up staying and helping the Kings make a sustained run at the title and validating him a star in this league. This is Amare's time to do that for the Wolves.

What are the odds of this trade? I don't know exactly. I know the Wolves had interest in Stoudamire in each of the last two off-seasons or at least it's been rumored so why wouldn't they be now. It's a win-win for both teams.

Twins Get Thome! Whoopie what does it all mean Basil?

It's time to talk baseball at the chili. The Minnesota Twins signed perennial Twins killer Jim Thome to a 1 year shot in the dark. It's low risk and at best it should give the Twins what they need to repeat as the AL Central division champions. At worst, it's one more Craig Monroe,Tony Batista,Joe Crede, Jeff Cirillo and the list goes on and on. The Twins have a track record of taking blind stabs on players at the end of the line.

So Why could Thome be different. Well out of all the players listed above, no one has the pedigree or the track record that Thome has. Sure he's 39 but he can still turn on a fastball and on a team that was trotting out Jose Morales late in the season at DH because of injuries I ask the world what harm could it do? This move though as much as I'll endorse it cannot be the signature move for the Twins if they expect to make noise. The fact is they still have no answer at third base and second base is sketchy at best. There are still no sure things in the bullpen and that includes Joe Nathan. There are also questions with the rotation. Is Frankie Liriano back or do we have the same dead arm head case that we had last year. Can Carl Pavano stay healthy for two staright seasons and we haven't even gotten to Pat Neshek  and Kevin Slowey.

I know this seems negative and I know you're thinking I'm down on the club. I'm not. Every team has holes and question marks as we head into the season. Even the Yankees made questionable moves. Hello Nick Johnson anyone? The Tigers got worse and The White Sox couldn't hit the broad side of a barn last year so yes we are good. Just looking for potential snags. I love baseball. Bring on the Season!

A Break from Sports.....Temporarily!

This is a sports blog I know but every now and again its important to divert oneself from the sports meat-grinder and broaden the horizons. I saw a movie but not just any movie. I finally saw the one movie that everyone else has seen. That's right Avatar! For the 28 years of my life I've been told myriad times to see a movie because quote "Its Amazing!" or "It's the greatest movie ever made" and very rarely has said film delivered the goods. Same for this film except this time they might actually be right. There are movies that transcend generations. This is one of them.

I know it sounds like Hyperbole but I have to say that I have never enjoyed my in theatre experience like I enjoyed this one. It was easily the most visually stunning film I have ever seen. It seems about every 10 years or so a movie comes along and pushes the visual envelope. From Jaws to Star Wars to Jurassic Park to Saving Private Ryan to Lord of the Rings to Avatar.. It vaulted into my top 5 all time along with Field Of Dreams,Annie Hall,American Beauty and Young Frankenstein.

I'll take others top 5 in the comments.

Vikings Autopsy

One of my biggest worries this last off season was if the Vikings sign Brett Favre, what would we do after the season. Sure there was the possibility he would play more than one year but most betting people were thinkin this was a one and done thing.Which begs the question for the Vikings, what do we do? Do the Vikings hold out hope that an off-season of reflection will be enough to lead Favre back for one more last chance at the Super Bowl. Do they draft the future QB like Tim Tebow or Colt McCoy. Do you hitch your wagon to Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels hoping a year behind the old sage was enough to help them take the next level.

All of these scenarios have merit but unfortunately none of them offer a sure fire way to get back to the NFC Championship and beyond. First, if the old sage decides to comeback again he would be 41 years old and I don't recall anyone who got better at 41. I realize that he just finished a career season at 40 but lets be serious here, what are the odds that he can catch lightning in a bottle again. You aren't supposed to get better as you get older so I have to believe at some point Favre will regress and if you are a Vikings fan are you willing to roll the dice on that for next season. I still believe he will retire. This was a one shot deal. I have to believe Brad Childress knew this in advance but knew this was a chance that he had to take.

I think that no matter what the drafting of a future QB has to be part of the future plan. My wish would be for Tim Tebow. Some have questions about his mechanics which I suppose is fair. Some have questions about his game and whether or not it transfers to the next level. I don't worry about these things. Mechanics can be coached and wondering whether or not a game can translate is just silly. That argument can be made for anyone. I wonder if Jimmy Claussen will be good at the next level. I question Colt McCoy's ability to play at the next level. Here is the difference for me. Tim Tebow played in every big game imaginable and way more often than not he found his way to the winner circle. I can't recall a big game that Jimmy Claussen won and as good as McCoy was for Texas. I can recall more than a couple games where McCoy looked average. So why not Tebow. He comes from good stock, He has proven to be durable and has all the qualities you want in a winner. Last I checked it's about winning. Vince Young proved this year that its about winning first and mechanics second.

Either way you slice I expect to see more of T-Jack and Sage and not the old sage but Sage Rosenfels (aka The Fumblecopter). Has sitting a year proved to be positive for them or is it same old. If its the former, we may have a chance to get back to the playoff. If its the latter, to put it bluntly...it could be a long time before we have another shot at the title.